Long time, no speak then, I hope you had a good January and have manged to ease yourself into the year gently. Apologises for the delay with this latest update but I was lucky enough to be able to have a nice break and leave England behind for a couple of weeks. Something I last managed to achieve in February 2020 when I went to Australia. Therefore personally I felt I was overdue a nice holiday somewhere sunny, warm and relaxing.

My girlfriend and I had booked to go to Las Vegas and New York in September but when this looked unlikely due to the restrictions at the time we decided to change it for two weeks in the Caribbean in January this year instead. We arranged it all a while ago and were as you can imagine following any travel information updates with great interest. Before we even flew to Jamaica we had to get a visa from their government to confirm that we were allowed in the country. This was a quick and simple process and luckily they welcomed us both with open arms.

The other thing we had to do before we would be allowed on the plane was to get a negative PCR Covid test within forty-eight hours of our planned departure time. We were flying on the Monday so we booked our tests with a private company on the Saturday afternoon. We had to go to a local clinic to get them done and they guaranteed us we would get the results by midnight on the Sunday in time for us to be able to get our flight on time. This of course adds to the tension and stress around if you will still actually be able to have the holiday or not.

We were flying from Gatwick in the morning so we decided to book a hotel there for the night before so we could just wake up and walk across to the terminal. It got to three o’clock on the Sunday and still neither of us had received our results. Lynda’s then came through at four, so we decided to head off to the airport as at least she would be able to go. We got there and checked in, still no news on mine. Then we went to the restaurant to have some dinner, still nothing. I should mention that due to a mixture of nervousness and excitement we may have started to have some wine by this point, well we were almost on holiday.

Eventually at around eight that evening I finally got the email with my test result and thankfully it was negative. The last hurdle had been overcome. We were all good to go. As a result of the stress of the wait and the euphoria with the result we may have stayed up a little later and drank a bit more wine than we planned to. We kind of started the holiday slightly early, which was fine until the alarm went off in the morning and I realised I had a hangover as I was preparing to check in for our ten hour flight to paradise.

As it turned out I had an extra couple of hours to recover as the flight was delayed. It took us quite a while to check in ourselves and the luggage due to the queues but on the plus side we sped through passport control and security. Once in the departure lounge we had some brunch which in my case was some gluten free pasta. Then we saw on the airport screens that the gate was closing on our flight even though it was not due to leave for another hour. We rushed down there just in case we were about to miss it only to find out that it was not even boarding.

We did take off at the new expected time and we settled down to read and watch a selection of the airline television options. I saw some comedy specials, then enjoyed a few episodes of Friends and The Big Bang Theory. Although mainly I was reading the first of the three books that I had taken with me for the trip, which was Bob Mortimer’s autobiography. It was for the record very funny and interesting. We travelled with British Airways and fair play to them they did manage to cater for my gluten free dietary requirements at meal times.

We had booked a two week all inclusive holiday at the Sandals Ochi Beach Resort in Ocho Rios. We flew into Kingston Airport and then had a ninety minute transfer to where we were staying. The local time when we arrived at our home for the next fortnight was about 9pm. After a delayed ten hour flight needless to say Lynda and I were pretty tired by this point. However we somehow managed to complete all the check in paperwork and were then met by one of our two Butlers. I appreciate that sounds very extravagant but to have that service with the accommodation we had selected it was only a very small amount extra so we would have been foolish not to.

We were staying in a Hillside Villa Suite which came with its own semi private pool shared with the three other apartments in your block. The Butler’s have golf carts to get around so us and our hand luggage got a lift to where we would be living for the next fourteen days. We were shown round, had a few important things explained to us and then we were handed a mobile phone, which was basically the Butler hotline to keep in touch with them and to use to ask for anything that we needed. The Butler then leaves and we were both shattered by now so planning on going straight to bed when we see a bottle of champagne on ice in the living room. It would have been rude not to drink it so we did to toast our arrival.

The next morning we decided to order a room service breakfast and ate it on the balcony overlooking our pool which was great. We then got picked up by Shenae the same Butler who welcomed us the night before. She took us to reception and helped us make some of the restaurant reservations we needed to. There are sixteen of them on the resort some of them need to be booked and the rest of them are just walk ins, so you can go to them whenever you fancy. It made sense to try as many different places to eat as possible so over our time there we did try most of them at least once.

The resort itself is on three sites, there is the Hillside where we were, the Beach Club and the Sea View, with the last two being in effect over the road. However there is a shuttle bus that runs every ten minutes between them from 7am – 2am every day and each of them are no more than five minutes apart so getting between them is very easy. Each one has its own accommodation, pools, bars and restaurants. We mainly split our time during the day between the pool on the side we were staying and the beach. The sea was so warm over there it was almost like taking a bath so needless to say I spent a lot of time just floating in it.

The weather while we were there was great mainly sunny with highs of around twenty-eight degrees Celsius, although it did hammer it down with rain one night and was a little cloudy for half a day. Our main past time during the days was sun bathing and I am delighted to say I was successful in my plan to get a nice tan while not getting burnt. You have got to keep slapping on the lotion and make sure you have a decent factor and brand on. I am quite dedicated to this goal in that I must confess I do wear trunks when I am on a sun bed to reduce the size of my tan lines shall we say. I will concede this is not for everyone but I say let them look.

They did a great job out there making sure my food was gluten free by telling me what I could and could not eat and on occasions making me special things to have like bread or some desserts. There was a good selection of different food on offer and we did try as much of it as we could. They had Italian, French, Japanese, American, Spanish and traditional Jamaican restaurants as well as some seafood ones. Shenae and our other Butler Andre always met us for dinner and made sure they sat us down and got us our drinks straight away, which was brilliant. The two of them worked shifts so shared the workload of looking after us and their other guests.

While I was there I had some snails, which I have had before in Paris and were equally as nice. I tried some Jamaican Mutton Curry and of course had plenty of Jerk Chicken. I am most definitely a pudding fiend and occasionally due to my Coeliac Disease I am unable to have one in some restaurants. I was lucky on this holiday as I did manage to have something most nights. In the French place they gave me a flourless Chocolate Pudding with ice-cream and cream which tasted amazing. In fact Lynda thought that I looked so happy and content eating it when we ate in the same restaurant later on in our stay see ordered it to try to see if it was as good as my face made it look.

There are lots of different bars all over the resort where you can order whatever you want whenever you want it. They have people who come round to bring you drinks while you are on the beach or by the pool. I think we had a good go at working our way through their entire cocktail menu. That said I think they would pretty much make you anything you asked for. We did discover one called The Bob Marley which comes in the colours of the Rastafarian Flag so looks very bright and colourful and as it happens seemed to be very strong with a delayed reaction. I love sweet things so I thought it tasted great!

They have a late night drinking venue called the Speak Easy or The Rabbit Hole that looks like a Hobbits house from the outside. You have to give them a password to enter, everybody gets given it, and it is just for a bit of fun. They have live music in there some nights and for some reason all of the cocktails in that place seem extra potent. It was on our side of the resort and always a good place to have a few final drinks before heading back to the Villa. There is also the Polo Lounge that is a big room overlooking the main pool area which is also a good place to watch Premier League football as they have TV screens in there.

The other bar I really liked was on the Sea View side and called Miss Ethel’s Piano Bar. Every time I went in there the bar staff, were all laughing and joking around with each other it always seemed like they were having fun. The best bit though was that most nights a performer called Panda yes that was his name would be on sat at the Piano playing a few songs. On a good night in there everybody would be sat around the Piano and join in with all of the songs. You cannot beat a sing-along where everyone is involved it was very inclusive and a good laugh. We must have gone there at least five times during the two weeks.

While we were there we had a couples massage. I would like to point out it was just a standard deep tissue massage but we were just in the same room lying next to each other. They asked how hard you would like the pressure I said firm as I figured that was the best way to get your money’s worth as it would have the most impact. I then spent the next sixty minutes basically being beaten up by my lady who was very strong. Joking aside it was lovely and relaxing and she did well getting some of the knots out of my back. At the end of it they left us holding hands in the middle. The women doing mine said I had really tight shoulders so flogged me some tension relieving gel. I will let you know if it works or not. You always feel so good after a massage. As you would imagine the place does have its very own Spa!

It is mine and Lynda’s Anniversary of our first date later this month but the person we booked our holiday through arranged for us to be able to mark the occasion while we were in Jamaica. While we were out at the beach one day our Butlers’ organised a bit of a surprise. We got back to the Villa and found a cake saying congratulations on the living room table with a note wishing us a happy anniversary and telling me there was some fruit for me in the fridge as the cake was not gluten free. We both thought that was a really nice gesture.

Then Lynda walks into the bedroom and I hear her scream so I join her and they have decorated the bed with flowers and balloons and arranged coloured lolly sticks to spell out happy anniversary. There is another note which says enjoy your bath. We both walk into the bathroom to find it covered in flowers with a bubble bath run at the perfect temperature to get straight in alongside a bottle of bubbly on ice with two glasses. They had set it up perfectly and it had ended up being like a treasure hunt. That was a really classy touch from everyone involved.

The other thing we did was take advantage of was the fact they have their own photographic studio there by having a daytime and evening photo shoot. We did one during the day wearing our going to the beach gear and then one in the evening when we were all dressed up. There is no obligation to buy and we had a lot of fun posing and messing about. As it turned out there were some really nice photos of the both of us so we ended up buying fifteen of them in the end. It was a good laugh and a nice memento of the holiday. It did also make me think that maybe I could still make it as a male model you know.

The fourteen Days went at a reasonable pace, it gave us enough time to appreciate and enjoy the break. Then it was time to fly back to cold and cloudy England. I am a big fan of getting a bit of January sun it is a great way to kick off the year and it basically means February is here before you know it. I appreciate I am very lucky to have been in a position to be able to do this. I now feel so chilled and relaxed. I am not sure if that is from the heat, the not having to work for a few weeks or the Jamaican outlook and way of life has rubbed off on me, but it seems like a good position to be able to attack the rest of the year from.

Thanks very much to Gail from Red Route Travel who suggested and booked the holiday for us. Regularly keeping us updated before we went and checking on us to make sure everything was alright when we were there. Plus it was her who organised the “anniversary” stuff and sorted out airport lounge access for us at Gatwick. I would like to also offer my appreciation to all the Sandals Staff who looked after us really well and made it a very enjoyable holiday. Lastly of course a big thanks to Shenae and Andre our Butlers who looked after us brilliantly despite my ability to never manage to answer the phone when they called us and my phoning them to ask for random things.

We had a wonderful time and are already looking forward to our next adventure whatever that may be. It did seem like everybody in Jamaica was a music producer or a rapper. Whenever anybody found out that I worked in radio within seconds they were showing me their latest music release on their own YouTube channel. To be fair a few of them I thought were really good, although they do appear to be a little looser with their lyrics than we are allowed to be on the radio in the United Kingdom!

A quick reminder that you can listen to me every Saturday afternoon between 2pm – 4pm on Radio Ninesprings https://www.radioninesprings.co.uk/

Have fun and we will catch up again soon. Stay safe! Cheers Neil.