The Route To Funny

October 25, 2014 Neil

Hello again, I hope all is well with you. And that you have had a very good couple of weeks.I have had yet again another busy fortnight. The last time we spoke I was off to Liverpool for the weekend to catch up with a very good friend of mine. It is a City I love and I do always have a great time there. I took the train up and have to say it is not a bad run up there. My mate happens to live near Aintree Racecourse, which is the train station he met me at. Just being there reminded me of when we all went along to Ladies Day of the Grand National Meeting a few years ago. That is a wonderful day out and I would definitely recommend it to anybody. As we had a bit of catching up to do we headed straight down the pub for an hour. Which ended up being about three hours in the end. Before going back to his for pizza and to spend the rest of the night watching great music and comedy on television.

As he has a two year old daughter, we were up bright and early the next morning watching children’s cartoons including Fireman Sam. Now it has been quite a while since I have seen it but I will say I think Sam may have had some cosmetic work done and has started really hitting the gym. He seems to have had some kind of make over and looks a bit more like a male model than I remember. We started the day the perfect way with a nice fry up before heading out to meet up with some more people we knew. Then visited lots of very familiar haunts that I have enjoyed on previous trips. Which just happened to all be pubs. I do like drinking in Liverpool, the place and people are just great. It is always a right good laugh with a nice soundtrack everywhere you go. They know their music up there. Needless to say I had a totally brilliant time. And we even found some time before I headed home to have a good look around the Albert Docks area. Which is where This Morning came from until it moved to London. Sadly the floating weather map that used to be there has long since gone. I am already looking forward to my next trip to Liverpool, which will probably be next year now.

Neil Quigley and Jeff Nolan in Liverpool

I am very lucky in that my teeth are generally in pretty good shape. I actually have only a couple of fillings. Which I am rightly quite proud of. Obviously or I wouldn’t have mentioned it here. But recently I noticed one of my teeth was becoming really sensitive, specially to the heat. Which is not something I had ever really experienced before. So I thought I probably needed a filling and went to the dentist to get it looked at. Where I discovered that it was actually already a tooth that had been filled years ago with an old metal filling. And there was now more decay around it. Then after some more investigation my dentist discovered I would actually need to have root canal treatment on it. This is something I had not had before but had heard people saying how horrible and painful it was. I had part one of the treatment last week. It lasted no more than forty-five minutes. And although I could not say it was a pleasant experience. It did not hurt that much during or even after. So thanks very much to my dentist for her great work there. It did not really feel any worse than just having a filling. Although I have still got part two of the procedure to go in a couple of weeks. Fingers crossed that also feels the same and does not hurt too much.

I was lucky enough to go along and see some of Channel 4’s recent charity fundraising night “Stand Up To Cancer”. It was broadcast from a big Methodist Church Hall in the shadow of Westminster Abbey. The atmosphere in the audience was excellent. They were all given tablet’s to hold up to flash during certain performances and also to show the running total on. As the presenters revealed it at certain points during the evening. It was good to see the brilliant Andy Collins in his showbiz jacket working his magic warming up the venue and keeping us entertained between all the breaks in the action. Davina McCall looked stunning in a lovely red dress but she did have some killer black heels on which she kept removing between appearances and to walk around the set. Tom Daley came on and did his little piece really nicely bearing in mind it was a subject so close to his heart. With his dad losing his battle with Cancer just a few years ago.

Everyone who appeared on the night I thought was brilliant. I am a fan of the Last Leg, so it was great to see Adam Hills, Josh Widdicombe and Alex Brooker there doing their thing. Although fortunately I had left well before they got naked. Joking aside fair play to them for doing that for the cause. Above and beyond the call of duty. Seeing some of the heartbreaking stories on video was very emotional but knowing that we are working towards finding a cure and once again seeing the generosity of the great British public in raising over fourteen million pounds. Made it such a brilliant and worthwhile night. My highlights were the Andy Murray “the film” casting clips. They were very funny with some great cameos. And the celebrity special episode of Googlebox was pretty amusing. I mean who would not want to sit in a room and watch television with Noel Gallagher, Naomi Campbell and Kate Moss. I know I would. Well done to Channel 4 and everyone involved. It really was a great achievement all round.

Neil Quigley TV Radio & Live — Neil Quigley TV, Radio & Live

Last Monday I took part in a New Comedian of 2014 competition at the Leicester Square Theatre in London’s West End. To give you a rough idea of just how many people had entered it. All the heats contained twelve acts and I was taking part in heat twenty three out of twenty four. We each had five minutes to perform our own material. And then the top three as selected by two comedy industry judges and an audience vote would progress through to the quarter finals. I arrived as ever a little bit early so had a nice walk around Leicester Square before heading to the venue. The event was taking place downstairs in the Lounge. Which was a lovely little room for comedy where a lot of top name comics often come to try out new material.On entering the room, after introducing myself to the organiser and deciding where I would be appearing on the bill. I started talking to the other comedians taking part.

I know I have said this before but everybody thinks comedy is a cut throat business where everybody is just out for themselves, while hoping everybody else fails. This could not be further from the truth. All the comedians I have met are lovely, great to talk to and very supportive of each other. We want the whole line up to go down great and get lots of laughs. As it creates a better atmosphere and we all enjoy ourselves more. This was very much the case for this competition. I was on second, so got up and did my five minute set. It went pretty well, I got a few laughs and nobody threw anything. Which I always count as being a successful gig. It was a strong line up with some good acts on and most importantly, great fun. I really enjoyed it. Well done to the three acts that progressed through to the next stage. Very well deserved and I wish them all the best. This competition was actually won in 2009 by a certain Rob Beckett. Who I believe will once again be involved with one of my favourite television shows I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out of Here, which is back next month. It was great to get up and do some stand up again and it has motivated me to get out and do some more of it. So watch this space for more details of appearances.

I am really looking forward to catching up with my mate Mike Sterling tonight. We met when I was working at a radio station in Yeovil. He came in for an interview on my radio show one morning. And from there we ended up doing a few gigs together and also were on a couple of talent show judging panels with each other. Mike first came to prominence in 1987 when he reached the New Faces final that year, finishing just behind Joe Pasquale. He then went on to play the lead roles in both The Phantom of the Opera and Les Miserables. He is a sensational performer and a top bloke to. Therefore I am really looking forward to seeing his latest show Stars of the West End at the Cadogan Hall in London. And meeting up with him after. He is joined by other talented West End Stars and they will be performing songs from big smash hit musicals. For more details about the show click here – https://www.facebook.com/events/267373066796664/?ref_dashboard_filter=upcoming

It is a busy weekend for me as once again tomorrow I am working at Wembley Stadium behind the scenes at the latest NFL American Football International Series match between Detroit Lions and the Atlanta Falcons. I am really looking forward to it, being involved with helping out when and where I am required throughout the day.The atmosphere will be amazing. They always put on a spectacular show when they visit London do the NFL. The pre game show for this game will include a performance from the 2011 X Factor winners Little Mix. One of the girls in the band like me is from Buckinghamshire. And when they got to the final to show support at the radio station I was working at we changed our name to Little Mix 96 for the day. So I will be expecting a thank you from them for that on Sunday afternoon. I will of course tell you how the day went and which celebrities I spotted there the next time we speak.

On the plus side despite the action packed weekend I do still gain an extra hour in bed as the clocks go back and British Winter Time officially begins. Remember to adjust your time pieces correctly. Do not be the person from your group of friends who turns up an hour early for a meeting with them and accuses them of being late. When they are actually on time and the error is all yours. The modern pitfall is this nowadays remember that most mobile phones auto adjust the time themselves. So if you forget this and put the time back on your phone an hour before you go to bed. When you wake up the time will be wrong and you will be out of kilter. Some free advice for you there. I will not give any names out but I do know someone who did that and no it was not me.

Still in life sometimes there is nothing funnier than when things go wrong on television. This is of course best captured in the programme “It’ll Be Alright on The Night” This is a show I have watched since I was a kid and always find it to be very funny. Which is good news as I will be going along to the ITV studios in London on a week Monday to watch the latest instalment of this iconic creation being recorded. I am looking forward to enjoying Griff Rhys Jones witty remarks and seeing our favourite stars getting it wrong in a room full of people, all hopefully laughing. It should be a good night out.

Have fun and we will catch up again in a couple of weeks. Cheers Neil.

That’s Entertainment

October 10, 2014 Neil

Hi there, how are you doing? I hope you have had a good couple of weeks. Mine have as ever been very busy and involved lots of fun things. The first event was a nice meal out with my immediate family at a favourite eatery of ours to mark my Mum’s recent and deserved retirement. She has just finished working at a place where she had been for the last eighteen years. Within a company that she had been with for over twenty odd years. I think my record for staying at one place of employment currently stands at five years. Which I was quite impressed with personally. We had a really nice time having a chat and reminiscing about her working life over our food. I obviously hope she enjoys having a bit more free time in her life. But as I am a little concerned that she may not keep herself busy enough during the days. I will be preparing a list of jobs and tasks for her to do. So she fills her time constructively. Well done Mum enjoy your retirement.

A couple of weeks ago I was lucky enough to be working behind the scenes at the first NFL International Series American Football match of this year at Wembley Stadium. It was a game between the Miami Dolphins and the Oakland Raiders. I do enjoy it when the NFL comes to town. The American’s really do know how to party. The pre-game activities started outside the ground around seven hours before kick off. Before the match I was assisting with meeting and greeting any VIP guests and helping them get to the side of the pitch. From where they were allowed to watch the players warm up. I was then on stand by to look after the owners of the Miami Dolphins. So in football terms that would be like escorting Roman Abramovich around the place to wherever he wanted to go and making sure he was happy. As I am sure you can imagine I did meet some interesting people in the lead up to the start of the game.

At pretty much all their big sporting events the American’s do like to put on some sort of a pre-game show. The one before this particular game featured a very special performance from Def Leppard. Who came out and played some of their biggest hits on a makeshift stage for around half an hour. As this was all taking place I was lucky enough to be hanging around by the tunnel area and then by the side of the pitch. So I got a great view of what was happening and I have to say they sounded brilliant. It was two weeks ago but I’ve still got “Pour Some Sugar On Me” and “Animal” going round in my head. Then just before the action finally got under way. The lead singer of the Fray Isaac Hayes strolled past me to head out to the centre of the stadium to sing the American anthem. I have to admit that sounded great from pitch side where I was standing.

Then during the match itself I was working with the Oakland Raiders coaching team. They had their own cameraman who filmed every quarter of the match from basically the highest vantage point in the stadium. Which was sensibly named the High 50 Area. Because it was right on the fifty yard line at the very top of the stand directly opposite the players tunnel. My job at the end of every period of play was to collect a memory card containing that last quarters play from the cameraman . And get it as quickly as I could to another coach waiting outside the locker room. So he could then load it straight on to his laptop and start analysing the plays. This was a fun task as I had to master getting past the fans, down lifts and stairs as well as getting round the side of the pitch past the cheerleaders to deliver the goods as quickly as possible. Which to be perfectly honest was quite challenging on occasions but most importantly lots of fun. Then my final task of the day was to escort all the football players back to their coaches. Just in case you were unsure I can confirm that some of those American Footballers are big units. It did amuse me seeing them walk past with their individual giant pizzas, noodles and crisps. I am guessing the calorie intake for these guys must be epic. There is a chance I could be working at the next NFL game at Wembley at the end of this month to between the Atlanta Falcons and Detroit Lions.

The other Tuesday I was lucky enough to be at the Elstree Studios watching the first episode in a new series of Room 101 being recorded. I am a big fan of the show’s host Frank Skinner. And have been for many years. However this was the first time I had ever got to see him in action, in person. He did not disappoint he was absolutely brilliant. He really does drive the show himself and has total control of it. So he can lead the conversations and question the guests how he wants to. As well as having a free reign to link in to any of the additional items that they have lined up, as he sees fit. Which he does effortlessly in his own unique and very funny style. The three guests who were there arguing the case to have their choices banished from society for ever were Jack Dee, Gary Lineker and Faye Ripley. They were all really good fun and argued their selections well. At one point Mr Lineker told us a very funny story that will definitely not make the final edit owing to some of the language it contained. But it was certainly worth telling I thought. Well it made me laugh anyway.

I went along to this with my mate Dan Makepiece. If you have seen the show before. You will know they give an audience member the chance to suggest something they think should be put into Room 101. Which then Frank and the whole panel discuss before Mr Skinner makes the final decision. Before the recording started I noticed that they were pointing the camera at the audience, near to where I was sitting. I was trying to pretend not to notice while basically staring right down the centre of the lens. The studio floor manager then comes over to talk to me. At first I thought she might have recognised me or was about to offer me a last minute more prominent role in the proceedings. But it was very much the opposite. I was wearing a very white shirt, which was causing problems and proving very distracting for the audience shot they needed for the person in the crowd suggesting an item. Who just happened to be behind me and also wearing a white shirt. So I was asked to swap places with my mate Dan. Which I of course did straight away. Then when they filmed the audience bit, the gentleman now behind my friend stood up to do his thing. While this was going on I was watching the monitor like a hawk. And as the guy was talking perfectly positioned in the bottom of the shot was my mate’s face. So when the programme goes out on the TV watch out for Dan making a starring on screen appearance. While you are watching him just picture me out of shot shaking my head, looking frustrated and screaming inside my head. That should have been me. If only I had worn black!

Has this ever happened to you? I did some clothes shopping recently to get a new outfit for an event I was going to. So I had about six different items of clothing. And if I am honest I was not paying that much attention while the assistant was ringing them into the till and putting them in bags for me. The shop in question had a sale on so the overall price was favourable, which was my main concern. I then took the goods home and got them out of the bags ready to try them on and see how good I looked. Everything fitted perfectly and I was very happy. Until I saw the back of the suit jacket I had bought. Somehow the assistant had managed to leave the security tag on it. I was due to wear it the following day and quickly figured that it would not be a good look to have the tag on during a night out. Even if I had the receipt with me to prove that I had actually paid for it. Have you ever tried to get one of those things off? They are impossible. I had a quick go myself as to go back to the shop would mean going an hour out of my way. But it quickly became apparent getting them to remove it was the only option. So I went back the next day. And the moment I walked in to the shop the security machine went off and a member of staff was standing next to me in seconds. I explained the situation, she removed the tag for me and I wore the jacket out with no problems. It would however have been a lot more useful if the tag had set the alarm off when I left the shop the day before!

I was really pleased that I managed to get a last minute ticket to go along to the Court Theatre in Tring a few Fridays’ ago to see the brilliant Dara O’Briain in action. The Irish comedian was there performing a work in progress warm up show for his upcoming UK tour called “Crowd Tickler”. Needless to say he was very funny and he creates such a warm and relaxed atmosphere amongst the audience when he performs. That makes the whole experience very enjoyable. I ended up sitting in the front row. If you have ever seen him do any stand up. You will know he likes to chat to the people in the front row and kind of make them a very small part of the show. I have never been good at staying in the background or out of the spotlight. So yes I did end up getting selected by Dara to talk to him. Which I really enjoyed, even though it did of course mean him having a bit of fun at my expense. But to misquote Kenny Everett it was all done in the best possible taste. I also liked the way he was giving notes about what he planned to do with parts of it in the final finished version, Which as someone who does a bit of stand up comedy I found fascinating and I have to say very useful. If you get the chance go and see him in action on this tour. You will not be disappointed and will have a great night out. Thanks to Adam Hollier for the picture see more of his excellent work at http://www.adamhollier.co.uk/

Dara O'Briain — Dara O’Briain at Tring picture courtesy of Adam Hollier Photography

I was up in London last Saturday night attending a couple of my friends joint fortieth birthday drinks. I booked a hotel room for the occasion, so I could really let my hair down and enjoy myself. That started things off very nicely because as I was waiting for my room to be available at check in. I was treated to a complimentary pot of tea before they informed me they were going to give me a free upgrade to a bigger room. Then the porter kindly carried my bag up to it for me. I could get very use to this kind of lifestyle. Then after popping to Nandos for some pre party fuel. I headed to meet everyone else at the venue. We went to a brilliant place called Floridita. Which on a Saturday night is basically a Cuban themed cocktail bar with a live band playing. If you are a fan of Strictly Come Dancing they have held some of their after show parties there and it has been the venue for the MOBO Awards nominations in the past to. It was great fun, the music was brilliant with a really relaxed, cool atmosphere and vibe to the place. Plus I got to try out the one Salsa dance step that I learnt at my one and only Salsa lesson. That I went to about eight years ago now. I tried it once and to be honest I wasn’t very good, so I never went back ever again. I can assure you that decision was no great loss to the world of Latin dance.

On the way home from London the following day. After stopping off for a pint of Guinness at my favourite bar in London Waxy O’Connor’s (well it would have been rude not to) I bumped into Russell Brand in the toilets at Marylebone Station. We were both washing our hands at the sink when we met. Not next to each other at the urinals thankfully or that could have been embarrassing. Our paths only crossed for a few moments but there was a smile and a polite hello exchanged. Weirdly though it did take me a few brief moments to recognise him. Even though I am pretty sure no-one else in the world has hair exactly like him, that beard and such a distinctive dress sense. Although I reckon he was off to watch West Ham. And that is certainly not an outfit that I would want to be wearing at Upton Park. This meeting did remind me that I have accidentally bought a pair of skinny jeans. I was in a shop and saw some blue jeans in my size at a greatly reduced and very reasonable price. So without really looking to closely at them I thought I will have them. It was not until I got them home and tried them on did I realise that they were skinny jeans. It was not a pretty sight so as a result I think it is very unlikely that I will ever wear them out in public.

I am very excited to be taking part in a stand up comedy competition at the Leicester Square Theatre in London on Monday 20th October. It is going to be lots of fun and there are loads of very good comedians taking part. I have my five minutes fully prepared and ready to go, so bring it on. If you fancy something a bit different you can buy tickets to come along to this and see me in action. Click on this link for more details https://www.facebook.com/events/1496576503962063/

I went to see England play San Marino in the Euro 2016 Qualifier at Wembley Stadium. It was another good night at the home of football. I went with my parents. We went for a lovely meal first. And we had really good seats with a absolutely fantastic view. The game itself was pretty functional. We were all over them and they got everybody behind the ball yet we managed to still get five goals against them. So I for one was happy and satisfied with that. And being a Tottenham Hotspur fan is was great to see Andros Townsend come on and get his goal.

I am really looking forward to seeing a very talented friend of mine Mike Sterling perform in Stars of the West End at the Cadogan Hall in London on Saturday 25th October. Mike has previously played the lead roles in musicals including Les Miserables and The Phantom of the Opera. I have worked with him on live stage events and on judging panels for talent competitions in the past. The rest of the cast in this show are also exceptional performers and it features many classic songs from some of the biggest shows to grace the stages of London and New York. Click here for more details https://www.facebook.com/events/267373066796664/?ref_dashboard_filter=upcoming&source=1

This weekend I am up in one of my favourite cities in the UK, Liverpool. I will tell you all about that next time we speak but until then. Have fun and we will catch up again in a couple of weeks. Cheers Neil.

The Climb

September 27, 2014 Neil

Hello again, I hope all is well with you. And that you have had a very good couple of weeks.I have had yet again another busy fortnight. Last Saturday I managed to combine catching up with my mate, his wife and his son, with visiting a big charity car event in the town where I live. The Kop Hill Climb actually started as quite a serious motor racing event in 1910. When competitors would race up what was then a dirt track up the Chiltern Hills, to try to record the fastest time and become the winner. The event was then stopped in 1925. Before being revived in its current form in 2009. It is now a great family fun event that last year raised fifty thousand pounds for local charities.

There are static displays to enjoy from ancient classic cars right up to modern super cars, and everything in between. So there really is something for everyone. Then you still have the excitement of watching all these different vehicles try to race up the old hill. Plus there are lots of other attractions to enjoy like the beer tent, fairground rides and the frightening Wall of Death. Which is a motorcycle display show. That was both terrifying and amazing in equal measure. The people who perform it are crazy but if you get the chance it is well worth seeing. So I had a really nice time catching up with my friend and his family. While enjoying what was on offer from this fantastic local event. Now I am not a massive car fan but it did make me decide that if I ever win the lotto. I am going to buy an exact replica of the General Lee from The Dukes of Hazard to drive around in.

I am still doing quite a bit of work at Wembley Stadium, which is brilliant. One of the things I like about working there is the random people you can bump into at any time. The other week ahead of George Groves latest fight, which took place at the SSE Arena in Wembley. They held the weigh in for it at the Stadium. So there were lots of people in the building from the world of boxing. After the event had finished I found myself sharing a lift with the legend that is Michael Buffer. If you are not familiar with the name you would recognise his voice. He is the best and most sought after ring announcer in the business.

He basically coined the phrase “Let’s Get Ready Rumble” which is actually his registered trade mark in America. He is rumoured to be worth around $440 Million Dollars and judging by the stylish fitted suit he was wearing. I could certainly believe that. He has the greatest announcing voice and has graced so many great boxing occasion’s over the years. In fact even just having a very brief chat to him while we were in the lift I got to appreciate just how cool and unique his voice is. I can really see why it earns him the big bucks.

I do have a tendency to mess about and have a laugh whenever I get the chance. Specially when I am out and relaxing with my mates. I was out for a few drinks with a friend the other weekend. We had gone to a local pub to watch a covers band. At one point during the evening we were standing on the dance floor to get a better look at the group that were performing. At which point a group of girls came over and asked if I could take a picture of them. I deliberately pretended to misunderstand and acted like I thought they wanted to take a picture of me. They did correct me and I did take a couple of pictures for them. But my jokey actions must have convinced them at least a little bit. That if I thought they wanted a picture, may be I was someone of interest or someone who might be famous. That possibly they just did not recognise. So they did actually take a couple of pictures of me posing with them. They are probably going to be quite disappointed when they show them to their friends. And no-one recognises me. But as ever the important thing is it amused me and made me laugh.

Last Wednesday I went to the BBC Radio Theatre in London to see the first programme in a new series of the excellent Radio 4 Extra topical news show “Newsjack” being recorded. This is a show which I have had material on in the past. And that I have been to see before. I always enjoy going to the radio theatre because it is based at New Broadcasting House. So while you are waiting to go in to the theatre, you wait in the Media Cafe there. Which actually overlooks the main newsroom. So you can see all the journalists working hard on new stories. You can also clearly see the Weather studio. And you can see in to the back of the BBC News 24 Studio. You are basically looking through that bit of glass. That the Queen arrived behind during the live news show, that was on when she visited the building. If you have ever seen that clip you will know exactly where I mean.

The recording itself was great. It is the second series that Romesh Ranganathan has hosted. Since he has become the focal point they have tweaked the format of the show very slightly, to fit in with his style of comedy. But it all works really well and still gives them the same platform for some great topical jokes and sketches. It was a very funny show. As you will have heard if you caught it on the radio. The show goes out at 10:30pm every Thursday night for the next six weeks on Radio 4 Extra. I will once again be doing some writing for this series. So do listen out at the end of the show to see if my name is mentioned as one of the contributors to that episode. It really is a lot of fun to be involved with. And it was great to be there in the theatre to see the finished article produced in person.

I was actually back at the BBC Radio Theatre the following night. This time to watch a recording of the brilliant The Now Show. The BBC Media Cafe is quickly becoming like my second home. They do have a few recognisable items and props placed in and around the room. For example there is a copy of the Tardis in one corner and a seemingly new addition of one of those spinning red chairs from the voice. I would like to believe it was the one that Kylie Minogue used. You can also get a nice cup of tea in there or something a little bit stronger, if you wish to. I didn’t spot anyone I recognised while I was in there this week but previously I have spotted Dan Snow having a coffee. While we were waiting for the recording to start the production crew came round with a form giving us chance to get involved. And write a comedy question that they might possibly use at the end of the show. Needless to say I made sure I submitted one myself.

The Now Show recording was absolutely brilliant. I have for many years been a huge fan of the comedy masters that are Steve Punt and Hugh Dennis. From when they used to write for and work with Jasper Carrot. Through to the Mary Whitehouse Experience and pretty much everything either of them have been involved with. I saw their touring stage show in Yeovil around eight years ago, and that was hilarious to. So as the main writers and performers of the programme from the second they walked out to warm up the audience. We instantly knew we were in safe hands and in for a very entertaining evening. They were joined for this episode by the ridiculously talented Pippa Evans who must have played at least twenty different parts, all with different accents. It also featured the regular team member that is the tiny Jon Holmes. The guest performers for this week’s offering were Sarah Pascoe and Grace Petrie, who provided the musical comedy element.

The joke writing and comedy performances were just sensational. This is a fast paced topical weekly show. So everything must be new, up to date and hit the mark with what is happening in the country and in the world. While still being hilariously funny. Which is something that they managed effortlessly for this week’s show. The cast were so good and right on top of their game. While somehow being at the same time so seemingly relaxed and chilled. They were all actually enjoying a beer during the recording. And to give you some idea of just how good and professional they were. At the end of a forty minute radio show recording. There were only three re-takes required. In my radio days sometimes it has taken me five minutes to record a one minute piece of speech. And to top off a great evening at the end of the show, they did read out the question that I had submitted. Which I have to admit did get a nice big laugh from the audience. The Now Show is on Radio 4 Friday’s at 6:30pm.

Do you remember a while ago now I told you about when me and my sister visited Crocodiles of the World the Crocodile Conversation and Education Centre in Oxfordshire. During our visit they were doing some filming there for a BBC documentary. Well it turns out that programme is called Great Animal Moves. And the series is currently being shown on BBC 2. In last week’s show one of the keepers was talking about some of the residents. When the camera pans around and clearly shows me and my sister looking into one of the enclosures. So we already have one nice little cameo under our belts. But while we were there we also witnessed a feeding demonstration. Which was again all filmed by the television crew. So I am wondering if that will make it in at some point. I hope it does because at the end of the display I asked a question. Which of course if it is included will give me some more screen time. Keep an eye out for it and why not see if you can spot me at any point. Think of it as a kind of TV version of Where’s Wally? Although I was not wearing a red and white striped jumper but with hindsight I now wish I had warn one on the day. That would have been a lot funnier.

Tomorrow I am going to be working behind the scenes at Wembley Stadium for the NFL International Series Match between the Miami Dolphins and the Oakland Raiders. I was at the first match they had there last year and it was fantastic. So it is going to be lots of fun. The whole razzamatazz of the occasion is sensational and spectacular from the build up, the pre game show right through to the action itself. The atmosphere is unreal. Last year I just happened to be standing in the tunnel area as the two teams ran out and the noise was deafening. So as you can imagine I am really looking forward to it.

This coming Tuesday I am looking forward to going to the Elstree Studios to watch an episode of Room 101 being recorded. The show is now hosted my Frank Skinner who is a comedy hero of mine. Who I have never seen live before so as you can imagine I am quite excited about that. Plus I love the show and they also have some really good and interesting guests on. I will tell you what it was like when we speak next.

Have fun and we will catch up again in a couple of weeks. Cheers Neil.

Ha Ha Good

September 13, 2014 Neil

Hi there, how are you doing? I hope you have had a good couple of weeks. Mine have as ever been very busy and involved lots of fun things. I have still been doing a bit of work at Wembley Stadium recently. I was there for the latest England Football Team Press Conference. The one where the manager announced his first post World Cup Squad. For the friendly with Norway and the Euro 2016 Qualifying match away to Switzerland. I just happened to be standing in the Mixed Zone area. Which is a corridor just outside of the Press Conference Room. When the boss Mr Roy Hodgson himself came past to head in and speak to the members of the media inside. I have met him before, so fair play to him. He did give me a quick nod and a smile as our paths crossed. I also saw the England Under 21 manager Gareth Southgate. He was there naming his latest squad for his team’s next two games. The whole event was covered by Sky Sports. And I did bump in to their Chief Football Reporter Nick Collins a couple of times during the day to. There is always a nice buzz around that area when squads are announced.

He also confirmed Wayne Rooney as the next England Captain. Which personally I think is a very good choice. And I wish Wayne all the best with the new role. I feel he is easily the best man for the job. I will be very surprised if he does not go on to break Sir Bobby Charlton’s long standing record of forty-nine goals for the national team. I also think he has a good chance of beating David Beckham’s record of one hundred and fifteen caps for an outfield player, for the men’s national team. Wayne is twenty-eight years old. He currently has forty-one goals in ninety-six appearances for England. So he is closing in on both of those records.

Staying with football and the national team for just a little bit longer. I took my Dad to see England play Norway at Wembley the other week. It was nice to be able to return the favour. Because as a child I remember him taking me to see my first full England game. When we played Holland at the Old Wembley Stadium. I remember it being loads of fun and very exciting to see the top players up close and in person. So as my Dad had never been to the new place to see a match. And as he had not seen an England team play for over twenty-five years. I think he was as excited as I was, when the roles where reversed all that time ago.

It all worked out perfectly. We got an early train in, so both of us had a seat. We went to a bar I know right near the Stadium. Where there was no queue at all at the bar. So we were able to have a relaxing drink before heading in to the ground. There was no waiting at the turn style. So we went straight in and grabbed a quick bite to eat before taking our seats. In time to see the team’s warm up. Which is something we both like to do. The match was good and most importantly England won. We found a hotel bar near the station for a quick drink. So we could wait for the crowds to go and then jumped on a quiet train home. It was a perfectly fun night, watching a game at a truly great stadium. It really is a comfortable place for the fans. My dad enjoyed it so much. That he has already booked tickets to see the next home England match there against San Marino on the 9th October.

My mum celebrated a land mark birthday last weekend. So as well as spoiling her with presents and flowers. We went out for a nice family meal together at a local pub, where my parents often go. Once a month they have a steak night with a special set price on a meal for two. Which includes a bottle of wine in it. This worked out very nicely for me. As I was paired with my sister. Who does not normally drink. And who was driving all of us home that night. Which basically meant I got a whole bottle of red wine to myself. Result! I had not had a steak for ages, so I really enjoyed it. Over the last couple of years I have started getting a bit braver with them. So I now have them medium. And fair play mine was cooked to perfection.

The night got even better when they came round with the desert menu. As I managed to finish things off with Apple Crumble and Custard. Which is certainly up there in my top three favourite puddings. There was also a singing duo there performing for us during the evening. My parents actually know the people who run the pub. So with their help we proceeded to embarrass my mum by getting the band to lead the whole pub in singing her happy birthday. Just before the music finished. We did all manage to get up on the dance floor and have a little family dance. It was a really nice evening, spending time together as a family and celebrating a big occasion. Most importantly of all the birthday girl had a great time and really enjoyed it.

Last Sunday night I did manage to get along to the Wycombe Swan to see my friend Ben Langley’s new show Ha Ha Hood. After making a brief appearance the last time one of his show’s was in Buckinghamshire.This visit was spent completely in the comfort of the auditorium watching with the rest of the audience. As normal with the Ha Ha brand Ben takes a well known story and re-writes it for comedy effect. While keeping with the variety and madness of the Ha Ha style. This latest play sees us catching up with the icon that is Robin Hood. Ten years on from the last we heard of him. A lot has happened. There have been many things that have changed. And then some things in his life that have seemingly remained the same. Ben plays Robin Hood. He is joined in the cast for this show by the fantastic Su Pollard. Who plays Maid Marion. And the comedy legends Cannon and Ball. Who both have duel hero and villain roles in the show. Which in itself leads to plenty of confusion and fun on stage. They are joined lastly by Andy Pickering. Who as well as supplying the musical accompaniment. Does pop up from time to time with some classic comedy moments of his own.

If you like good old fashioned laugh out loud fun. You must go and see this show. It has jokes, songs, pathos, lots of silliness. All with the added bonus that you are never totally sure what exactly is going to happen next. I was lucky enough to have a very quick catch up with Ben Langley before the show. He is a top bloke and really deserves all the success that he is having with the Ha Ha series. I did also manage to say hello to and shake the hands of Bobby Ball and Tommy Cannon. Who are both excellent in the show. It reminded me of when I used to watch them on television, when I was a kid growing up. They have lost none of the old magic. Nor has Su Pollard who proves yet again what a wonderful all round performer she is. And she does also get the opportunity to showcase her great singing voice. I had forgotten that she has released a few records over the years. I totally enjoyed the show. It was entertaining, funny and made me laugh out loud on several occasions. I will be going to see it again later on in the tour for sure. So if you can, do go and see it. Find out more here www.hahahood.com

It is fair to say I do have very limited options when it comes to what I can do with my hair nowadays. At the moment I normally visit the hairdressers around every three weeks. And have my head shaved with a grade one cut all over with the clippers. Now I always go to the same place. Which is a family run barbers near where I live. So I have one of the three relations in there cut my hair. I went in as usual the other week. I had to wait a little bit for my turn. Which is quite unusual. As I normally time it right, so I can just walk straight in and sit down in the the main chair. But this time I had to wait for a while. I then got called up to go to the chair. I was wearing my glasses. So as I sat in the chair for the haircut. I took them off. Meaning of course that I could not see.

Normally they do ask and check what I want before they start. But this time they didn’t. However as I have been having the same thing done there for the last two years. I thought nothing of it and just let them get on with it. We were chatting away as normal. At which point I started to feel that something was not quite right. Then at the end of the haircut. When I put my glasses back on and looked in the mirror. I instantly noticed my hair looked a lot shorter than normal. Instead of a grade one cut. I think they had done an half grade or even a grade zero. Which doesn’t sound much of a difference, when you say it quickly like that. But believe me it looked a lot shorter than I had ever seen it before. And it took me a few seconds to actually recognise myself in the mirror. Too shocked I didn’t say anything afterwards I just paid as normal and walked out. On the plus side. As it will have a lot more growing to do. I will probably not need to go back for at least a month now. And I will definitely confirm with the hairdresser exactly what we are doing before we get started next time. I will not make the same mistake twice.

Good news if you remember the new potential television quiz show. That I went to do some work on. To help them develop it a couple of months ago. It has now been taken up by a major TV channel. I am afraid I still can’t say which one yet at this stage. But it looks like they are going to make the first series of it early next year. They are starting to look for potential contestants for it at the moment. It is a very different concept and format to the more normal and conventional game shows. So I do think when it launches there will be a lot of publicity surrounding it. There is a very good chance that I may well still be involved with it in some way, before it hits our screens in 2015.

The new series of the brilliant Radio 4 Extra comedy show Newsjack starts on the station on Thursday 25th September. I know this as I am going to watch it being recorded at the BBC Radio Theatre in London the night before. I will once again be writing some jokes for the programme. So the ideal situation would be that I get to see and hear some of my work being performed, that night while I am there. I am looking forward to catching up with the very talented cast and seeing them in action again. It is always a good fun night out. I am actually back there at the BBC Theatre the night after to watch the excellent The Now Show with the amazing Steve Punt and Hugh Dennis being recorded. I have seen both of them live in the theatre before. And they are just fantastic. So I have a couple of decent nights of comedy lined up to enjoy there.

Have fun and we will catch up again in a couple of weeks. Cheers Neil.

Ice Ice Baby

August 30, 2014 Neil

Hello again, I hope all is well with you. And that you have had a very good couple of weeks. Mine have been a lot of fun. When I spoke to you last I was off out to the New Theatre in Oxford to see Avenue Q. I interviewed one of its stars. When it was on in the West End eight years ago. And had been wanting to see it ever since. So it was really nice to finally get round to seeing it. We had fantastic seats. Right in the middle of the Upper Circle with a perfect view of the stage. The show itself was worth the wait. It was absolutely fantastic. It has to be the most modern and up to date musical I have ever seen. In respect of the story lines and the song lyrics. It is fair to say it’s not for the faint hearted. And it is not for people who are easily offended or do not like swearing. But if you like a fun night out with some very catchy and clever songs. I would recommend that you see it. Due to the fact that the majority of the cast are puppets. It does mean they can get away with a lot more than you would be able to with real actors in certain scenes. But that all adds to the fun and the naughtiness of the show. It is in many ways like a very adult version of Sesame Street. I managed to have a very brief conversation with one of the stars after the show. And needless to say they love performing it. Plus it always seems to get a great reaction wherever they go. I really enjoyed seeing it. And I am glad that I finally got round to watching it.

While I was heading in to the theatre. I noticed a big poster on display for a play that is coming to Oxford later in the year. The reason that it caught my eye was that it featured my mate Ben Langley. It was promoting his new show Ha Ha Hood. Which also stars Su Pollard, Cannon & Ball and Andy Pickering. It starts its nationwide tour in a week’s time. And is then set to go all around the country. Recently it has been on at the Chelmsford Civic Theatre for a week .To put the finishing touches to it before it heads out on the road. It then comes to the Swan Theatre in High Wycombe on Sunday 7th September. Now I am very much hoping to be able to get along and see it that night, if I possibly can. If not I will definitely be there to watch it the next time the show makes an appearance in Buckinghamshire. To find out more about the show click here http://www.hahahood.com/

Did you know? That if you have one of the new style card driver licence’s. They need updating and renewing every ten year’s. And I do believe everybody in England now legally has to have one of these new licences. If you don’t believe me have a look at your driving card licence. It will have an expiry date on it. Luckily the DVLA do write to you to remind you when this needs to be done. Unluckily for me I needed to update mine this week. So there were two options. Go and get your own photo taken and then send the form back yourself. Or just go to a Post Office and they can sort it all out for you there digitally. I was a little sceptical as it all sounded a bit to simple and straightforward. But I decided to give it a go. So I walked in signed and dated the form. Then they have to take your picture for you in this little booth.I was wearing my glasses. And you are not allowed to have these on for an official legal document photo. So the women dealing with me asked me to remove my glasses, which I did. She then tried to direct me to the exact place that I needed to stand to have my photo taken. Which was a bit difficult because by then my glasses were off and I couldn’t see. A point I have to confess that I did feel the need to make to her. But we got there in the end. To be fair it was quick and painless apart from the twenty five pounds that it cost me to renew something that I have to have. Unfortunately I didn’t get to approve the photo on the day. So the first time I will see the picture I am stuck with for the next decade will be when the new licence drops through the door. Fingers crossed it is a nice one of me.

Last Saturday I went along to a good friend of mines joint 50th Birthday Party and 30th Wedding Anniversary. Which I did feel meant I had to get two presents. As it was of course a double celebration. So I got one for him for his birthday and one for his wife for putting up with him for thirty years. I had a good time catching up with quite a few people who I had not seen for a while. Which is always a nice way of spending the evening, I think. My mate had booked a band. Who he knew and liked as the main evening’s entertainment. They were great. And fair play to them they knew a lot of songs and actually played for nearly three hours in total. They were heading towards Bruce Springsteen and the E Street band territory there. With that sort of length of performance time.

During one of the bands rare breaks. There was a surprise act that the birthday boy had arranged for everyone. He is a big fan of Irish music. So he had organised for an Irish Traditional Dancing Troupe to put on a bit of a show. They were brilliant. And had a great mixture of ages from one star performer, who could have only been around five years old. To dancers in their late teens. After a couple of dances they paused and then invited up the guy whose party it was to join them. He then decided he did not want to do it on his own. So then me and another one of our mates suddenly found ourselves thrust on to centre stage. About to embark on a brand new Irish Dancing career. With no previous experience. It was fantastic fun and I was doing my best to watch the professional dancers. And try to copy their moves but I have to admit it was really hard. They move their legs and feet so quickly. And move them in to what seemed to be some very unusual positions to me. But we all gave our performance everything. And we did get a generous round of applause from the rest of the guests who were there. When our routine had finished. I remember seeing

Ant & Dec join in with the cast of River Dance during the last series of Saturday Night Takeaway. They managed to get away with it and look good. Which once again does highlight how annoying talented those two are. After that party night I think I have earned the nickname Michael Flat-Feet for my Irish Dancing display. But it was great fun to be involved in though.

This is always a slightly depressing point but we have just enjoyed the last Bank Holiday until Christmas. So I hope you made the most of it and had a good one. Well done to my good mate Dez Kay. Who did a great job hosting Hobble on the Cobbles in Aylesbury. An all afternoon free music event which was headlined by the band Toploader. I had quite a quiet and relaxing Bank Holiday Monday in the end. I just relaxed around the house and took it easy. While still being very happy with the start to the new football season. I know we are only two games in. And there is a long way to go but my team Tottenham are currently top of the Premiership. I appreciate this may well not last. But I intend to enjoy it while I can. If that is still the case when I go to Liverpool to watch Spurs at Everton for the last day of the season next year. I can see that being a bigger than normal party weekend. And they are normally pretty big when I head up there anyway.

I am really looking forward to going to see England play Norway at Wembley next Wednesday night. In a friendly ahead of our important European Championship qualifier. Now that the two great servants that were Steven Gerrard and Frank Lampard have retired from International Football. It is time to see which players can rise to the challenge and establish themselves as England regulars. As both of those players mentioned each have over one hundred appearances for the national side. They do leave big boots to fill.

So just when I thought I had got away with it. Suddenly out of nowhere I got a double nomination for the Ice Bucket Challenge. I had been watching from a safe distance as various celebrities were doing it. Then more and more of my family and friends seemed to be doing it. Still I kept my head low and started to avoid social media but in the end it was unavoidable. It is to raise awareness and money for an excellent cause. When I was working at Mix 96 in Aylesbury. I did a little bit of work with the local branch of the Motor Neurone Disease Association. I spoke to people who were directly affected by it. And some who were actually suffering from it. It really is a very unforgiving and nasty condition. Which they still have no cure for at the minute. And it is something that can effect anyone at pretty much any time. The effects of the disease are life limiting making things you take for granted impossible. And unfortunately in some instances life shortening. Please take a minute to find out more about MND here http://www.mndassociation.org/ Never one to refuse a challenge of course specially for such a good cause as this. I did take up the challenge. So please see my Ice Bucket Challenge video below.

I am still busy writing new material for a Stand Up Comedy competition. That I have got coming up in a couple of months. Once the set is written I will be out and about doing some try outs ahead of the night itself. Or at least that is certainly the plan currently. The new series of Newsjack starts again on Radio 4 Extra next month. So I once again plan on doing some joke writing for that. Plus I am still hopefully going along to a few more radio comedy recordings. I am also very pleased to hear that ITV are bringing back an old television institution in Sunday Night at The London Palladium. I can’t wait to see variety acts back on our screens to round off the weekend. I am in the process at the moment of trying to get myself some tickets for one of the shows during the new series. I think that would be a brilliant way to spend a Sunday evening.As you would expect the acts that are rumoured to be lined up to be on the bill for these shows are amazing.

Have fun and we will catch up again in a couple of weeks. Cheers Neil.

Neil Quigley Presenter